Each baby is different
I know you thought you had this whole parenting thing sussed, having done it once before but each baby is different and going from being a mum of one to two children is actually going to be much, much harder than you could have imagined.
I know you might feel completely overwhelmed at the moment but you will manage just fine. Don’t beat yourself up because you didn’t get that instant, warm, fuzzy rush this time or for getting so weepy in hospital. It’s all down to hormones and that’s not something you can control. Having a baby, the day before the anniversary of your mum’s death wasn’t something you could have changed or planned either. Ignore that unpleasant midwife who snapped at you and refused to lift the blind up in the hospital room. She was probably having a bad day and the lovely midwife who helped look after you that second night, when you were still so sore from the C-section, makes up for it.
It was a shame that you looked like you’d done ten rounds with Mike Tyson and had such puffy eyes from all the crying in those pictures of Charlie meeting his baby brother the first time but you won’t care that much when you look back.
Don’t worry if breastfeeding is not as easy as it was first time around and don’t underestimate just how difficult it’s going to be to manage silent reflux (and bleeding nipples.) He will get over it by the time he’s six months old and this time will pass. In the meantime, that double breast pump will become your best friend and you will, quite literally, cry over spilt milk.
Giving up dairy and going lactose free for a few months will also help you lose the baby weight all though you’ll put it all on again when you have baby number three in two years’ time (and, at 10lb, she’ll be even bigger than either of her brothers!)
That first maternity leave where you tried to sleep when the baby slept and relished being off work for a whole nine months was, unfortunately, a one off. Now you have a toddler and a baby to look after and you will have to entertain your jealous first-born on virtually no sleep and stop him from over zealously showing you just how much he loves his little brother. Don’t worry, he won’t hurt him even though it looks as though he might rock him right off that new Baby Björn chair. In time they will be great friends and he will come to see him as an ally rather than a threat all though the sibling rivalry will remain.
I know you never imagined you’d be the mother of two boys but there are so many wonderful things that they will show and teach you. They will open your eyes to a whole new world and all those things you thought about not gender stereotyping will go completely out the window. They will both love trains, dinosaurs, fighting, farting and Star Wars. But most of all they will love you, their mama, with an intensity and adoration you have ever known. And in a few year’s time you will have a baby girl too and feel like the luckiest person in the whole wide world.