He doesn't sleep
He is a challenge. A total shock to your system and a million miles away from his big sister and her happy go-lucky nature. She slept well and always woke happy, with a smile on her face. She was an actual breeze, so much so, that you fell pregnant for the second time giving you an 18 month gap (crazy woman!).
But as you know, he is a whole new ball game (pun intended). He is an unhappy baby. He cries lots and never seems content, which breaks your heart. He wants to be close to you at ALL times. He won't even go to his daddy (damn breast feeding) - so there's never any rest. And yes...blah blah blah, you are fully aware he's a baby and that's how it should be, but it is all consuming at times. He doesn't sleep. And you are fully aware that babies don't sleep (as people like to remind you - unhelpfully). But he really doesn't sleep. Or he does but only in 40 minute chunks, after which he wakes and need resettling, before the cycle starts again for the next snippet of time, night after night. Day naps don't exist, or only in golden moments when he is in a sling attached to your front. His 'sleep setting' is most definitely broken.
You listen to other mums complaining that they had a 'bad night' when their child woke two or three times. You want to scream. In their faces. It's not their fault - they have their battles to fight too and we all have different tolerance levels. I know in your panic to gain some control you wonder how long this 'phase' will last - and I can tell you now it is 12 months. With no more than 40 minute chunks of sleep for you both. Im not sure if this will make things easier or make you want to cry inside! But there is an end - that's the important bit. Hold on to it. And while I'm fortune telling, I might as well add that it's 3 years before he actually sleeps through the night (sob sob!) - so give up wondering and roll with it!
I know how sleep deprived you are, and I honestly don't know how you function with a lively toddler (thank the lord she's such a good girl) and a new baby, like this for 12 months. But you do. You feel like a shell of a person half the time, and experience the effects that sleep deprivation can have on your, normally, logical brain. But carry on, power through every day and you will get there. Despite being shattered beyond belief - you know you are a good mum to both, and they get your all. You try to function as a friend and a wife too, but you do a pretty poor job. But it's ok, mothering is taking all of the little energy you are left with. Those who are close to you understand this and try to help where they can.
Yes it's ridiculously tough right now. And no one really understands, despite trying their best. But you do get through it. It doesn't last forever - and I know others have told you this a millions times (again que the urge to scream in a few faces!), but this is me telling you now. And I know. You do get through this. And you will be proud of yourself when you look back in years to come.
And that unhappy baby boy, who wouldn't leave your side for even a second - well he is the most affectionate, funny, happy and loving little boy now. Who absolutely adores his mama. So whatever broke inside of you that first year, a special bond between you and your boy was growing above all else.
Ps - Don't bother paying the sleep lady that £70 for advice...he is stubborn and does everything in his own time! Just the way we love him!