Are you okay? I feel it's important to ask you this because you haven't been asked in a while. You've been asked about the baby, lots, and if you hear 'is he sleeping through the night' one more time you are going to scream.
Firstly, put the wine away. You are about to learn that as bad as sleep deprivation is, it's a hundred times worse on a hangover (which will unfortunately come from more than two glasses these days). Save that for your rare nights out - you will appreciate it more.
A little while from now things will get worse. Quite a lot worse actually. Pretty soon you're about to have a breakdown in the doctors. Accept the help they give you, and don't waste a second worrying that you're a bad mum - you're not, you're a pretty excellent one actually. Stop obsessing over social services. Nobody is going to take your child away because you are on antidepressants - this is just your OCD talking, and the meds will help sort this out too.
I know you aren't happy where you live, but that will change. Mama, we live in our favourite city again. We have a lovely house, our relationship is back to normal and our baby is thriving. The stage you're at right now seems boring but it gets more fun. Our wonderful child gets more wonderful every day, he has actual conversations and is really good company! He can count to ten and say all his colours and that's all down to you, so give yourself some credit.
But mama, you're still not getting any more sleep at night! Your toddler is about as good at sleeping as your newborn is now. Your fiancé (soon to be husband) will be on hand to help you more though because he won't be commuting as far - take those offers of daytime naps and run!
Your body isn't any slimmer yet I'm afraid, but I'm working on that for us right now. You will lose two stone very rapidly soon, but I'm sorry to tell you you put it all back on. Sleepless nights make you eat carbs. Like I said, I'm sorting it for us though. I have your back.
You feel smug right now because you didn't poo in labour, so the mystery is still there with your partner. Babes, it ain't any more. Your kid is about to get mega-clingy; expect your beloved to run in when you are on the toilet and plonk a crying child on you. You will learn to do EVERYTHING one handed.
So, advice before I go.
- CBeebies is your friend. No child ever lost brain cells from too many episodes of Clangers.
- Stop comparing yourself to other mothers. You may think everyone else has it easy, their child is in a routine, they own their house, drive and have lots of money. Think about all that you have. Would you swap your life? I don't think you would.
- Your friends are invaluable. We have lots of new friends now, and we make them through a wonderful mum's wellbeing group (and through living in the best city in the world, obv). Your old friends will always be your best friends. Some will fade away because they aren't interested in children but a select few will amaze you. You know the ones I'm thinking of already. Go out for coffee with them. Now. You will feel better for it.
And for the love of God woman, get dressed!
All my love,