Those lost years of motherhood will be restored to you
I see you and I know you feel like you are dying inside as you stand there, getting photographed with these 3 little boys. I know you are choking on a darkness that is so all-consuming that you feel you may never breathe again. I see it on your face. I know you don't sleep anymore and sit at the top of the stairs every night crying and waiting for morning to come. Your body goes through the motions, the daily mothering functions but your mind has checked out.
But I am writing to tell you that you are going to come through to a place where you can breathe again and where you will no longer want to die. The voices that talk to you in your head aren't real. Did you know that?
My darling precious girl I want you to know that you are in the middle of a breakdown. There, I said it. I love you and I want you to know it will pass. Your mind will get well and you will show up again to your own life as a wife and as a mother.
There is such a joy coming for you and you will no longer be afraid. I promise. Colour will come in, warmth and light will flood the barreness and the brokeness of your mind and your spirit. You will come to mother to those 3 boys with so much love and strength. You will be able to hold them and enjoy them in ways you never thought were possible. Those lost years of motherhood will be restored to you.
Just you wait. I know you can't see it now but it is coming and it is beautiful beyond description.