We are Mothers. We are doing our best.
It was the best day of your life, it was that rush of instant love.
It was traumatic, problematic, those feelings of being enough.
That first latch, that connection, that surge of protection.
Remember that feeling of failure? The pain? I want to tell her...
Whatever you choose, there’s never judgement here.
You didn’t need another excuse to feel overwhelmed, it was that constant fear and the questioning if you were a good Mum.
It was everyone’s confidence and pictures on Instagram of a “super Mum” and it was loving every second and wishing the hours go by,
Until you could be alone and have your own time.
It was lonely, it was suffocating it was excitement, it was joy.
It was all you could do not to breakdown and cry.
Those good days, those bad days, all that regret and guilt.
It was everything you ever wanted, but remember that wall you built?
From old friends, from light, from love, from help.
You were overwhelmed with support, feeling a love you’d never felt;
You’ve got it all Mama, but you can’t do it all Mama, you felt you were failing but never complaining.
For fear of the speculation, to keep up with expectation.
You found your confidence, but you had no self-esteem.
And why was your past slipping into your dreams?
Every day is a blessing and your heart bursts from the seams.
It’s everything you ever wanted,
You were complete, you were running on empty, you felt different, you were sad, you missed the life you once had.
“Please take her”, “she’s mine”, “I’m losing my mind”.
“Just love every minute but don’t lose who you are within it”.
I’m not a natural, I’m still struggling, this is all meant to be.
I found myself whilst losing a part of myself... “You’re everything to me”.
It’s intuition, it’s strength, it’s darkness, it’s so AMAZING...
DO NOT JUDGE ME when it’s two lives that I’m raising.
Back then, when you were new, I wish I could have told you it’s all valid, that each day is easier than the rest.
This is motherhood. We are Mothers.
We are doing our best.
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