When you realised your milk had gone
You feel distraught, sad, guilty and desperate to turn back the clock. But you can’t Mama. You did you very best and you gave your baby a great start. You did not fail your child.
I remember when you realised your milk had gone. There was nothing left. All dried up. Even if there was a drop the baby didn’t want it. He rejected you and your breast milk.
I understand the desperation, researching how to stimulate breast milk - herbs, massage, pumps, whatever it takes....I know the sadness you are feeling and that you think you have failed.
But you have not. And you must accept this now. There is so much information from so called experts about what to do, what not to do, it can be hard to follow your own lead. You are tired, desperate for more sleep. You are up half the night breastfeeding or comforting a crying baby. You have 2 children under 2 and its really hard work. That is amazing in itself. But exhausting.
You are craving some routine and sleep. You’ve heard it helps, you’ve read the books, experts are divided but you’ve taken the suggestion about introducing a bottle of formula at bedtime...there’s just so much information it’s overload. You say it was the bottle that did it. You say the teet was too big and that he got so much milk from the bottle he then didn’t get enough from you and he started to reject you. Maybe it was the bottle, maybe it wasn’t. Maybe your milk would have dried up anyway. You will never know. You must let go. Bad decision or not.
What you need to remember is that you gave your beautiful baby 8 weeks of your own milk. That is more than the best start in life - all the nutrients and more. Please let it go now Mama. You can’t undo what’s done, blame yourself or anyone else for giving bad advice. You can’t cry anymore. He is healthy and happy and you must now focus on your health and happiness. And congratulate yourself for being the most caring mum a little boy could ask for.