You are becoming more confident
You are now 20 weeks into this and each week you are becoming more confident. Since you last wrote a letter to yourself things have been tough but you have found that you are now so much more confident in your decisions.
You are being so open and honest about your experiences as a mum and this has really helped you to express how you are feeling. You have talked about how you felt when you became a mum, you have talked about your struggles with feeding Isabella but most importantly you have, for the first time, been honest about your anxiety.
Becoming a mum made your anxiety show itself in a bigger way than you ever could have imagined. This has made you constantly assess whether or not you are doing a good job as a mum, whether you are cut out to be a mum and whether you can cope as a mum. But what you need to remember is that although things have been tough, this is still very new to you, you are still learning and Isabella is growing, laughing, smiling and is happy.
You are still from time to time putting too much pressure on yourself but you learning to take it easier and to make time for yourself. You’ve spent a lot of time thinking about those first few weeks and regretting the decisions you made and the things you didn’t do. I know it isn’t easy but you need to start to move on from this and focus on making the most of every moment now.
I want to remind you though that although some days it might not feel like it everything will be okay and as each day passes you will become more confident and you are a good mum.