You have just become a little bit lost
If you’re struggling it does not mean you are a bad mother, it does not mean you don’t love your baby.
It’s okay if you need help at this point in your life. It’s okay to admit that it’s not what you thought it would be. It’s okay to say - “I love you with all my heart but sometimes I don’t want to be alive”.
Postnatal depression is an illness. Just like a physical illness. You cannot help it, you do not choose to be unwell. You do not need to be ashamed, don’t feel like you are not worthy of help, like there is no hope.
There is always hope. There is always another way. There is always a way out.
The happiest time of your life might not really be the happiest.
It might be the darkest but you will find happiness again. It has not left you, or you left it, you have just become a little bit lost. But you will find your way again.
This is not the ending. It might be a chapter. A chapter that feels like an eternity but once you are through it and you look back, you will see how small it was. How much bigger your life is now. How much the happiness has overcome the sadness.
Life can be cruel. You might feel anger, you might say - “why me?” But it is very common. There is no type of person. You might not see it coming. It might hit the wind out of you. But please, seek help.
Speak out. Talk to someone, anyone. Your loved ones will always love you. They will always stick by you.
Do not stop until you receive the help you deserve.
Love, Kate. X