You haven't lost your identity, you have found it
I know you sit there and remember people telling you that having children doesn't change your identity, that they can fit round your life and you are still the same you.
It's okay to realise you are not the same girl anymore. The one that drunk the rugby team under the table at uni. The girl that jumped into the family business, working 24/7, leaping on a plane to be over the other side the world for a presentation at the drop of a hat. The girlfriend/wife that didn't have a go at her husband for being out with his mates till whatever time. The girl that would always be the last one standing at a party and be up first in the morning and ready to do it all again. You were strong, independent, the life and soul. Loved wine, travel and being spontaneous... then you decided you were ready to have a family.
Like everything else in your life you lacked the patience to let things happen naturally and after 6 months, trying to get pregnant, your carefree attitude changed to an obsessive routine. You got angry at work, frustrated at home with your kind, good-natured husband because he didn't seem as obsessed as you. Luckily a wonderful man on Harley Street came into your life and took away your stress. A painful and sad miscarriage over a New Year was followed by falling pregnant with twins... the dream.
When you were pregnant, you waited for the hormones to kick in, the fear, the panic of having two little people to look after. The worry about the C-section, the self-doubt about becoming a mum. It never came. Don't get me wrong, there were crappy days; there was gestational diabetes, anaemia, self-injections and huge discomfort and times you would have given away your last pennies to have someone remove those little monsters early from inside you. But, you still felt confident, ready to be a mum and hugely excited.
Then they arrived and, wow! You thought you knew what love was... you had no idea... You thought you couldn’t love your husband more but that love doubled in a second when you saw him hold your children. These little human beings had totally changed your world!
Nothing else in the world mattered more than the boys, and almost a year on, as you sit there, pregnant again with your little girl, remember it is okay that your identity has changed. Don't let that pang upset you when you are not invited to the party anymore. It's okay to tell your husband that you want him to come home. It's okay not to drop everything and rush off to help the family business. It is absolutely fine to sit in the corner and cry because the thought of anything upsetting your little family is the end of the world. It is okay that your identity is now being a mama, especially when nothing in the world makes you happier. You have two beautiful, happy and healthy boys. They have inspired you to start a little family business which is about to launch. Your husband understands the new you and will still love you. It might not seem it but you are stronger than before, you have never been happier and each day brings you closer to meeting your little girl and your family being complete. Mama, always remember, you haven't lost your identity, you have found it. This is always who you were meant to be and nothing could ever mean more.
Love from me