You need to be selfish
What on earth has gone on! Who’s let you come home with an actual human baby? She’s a few days old and you love her so much you could cry, you have done a couple of times and Wayne has been slightly concerned “you’re crying because you like her?!’ haa.
Everything’s going amazingly, she sleeps well and smells divine! You haven’t had as many visitors as you expected but that’s okay because getting up and down to the door is a bit of an issue, praise the lord for pads you put in the freezer before you went to hospital! (TMI i know). Even the baby poo you were so worried about isn’t that bad! You look forward to her poos, I know this sounds unimaginable.
You were so excited to breastfeed, the happiness when she latched on at a couple of hours old was such an achievement for both of you and the magic feeling that YOU, YOU were feeding your baby, that came out of YOU! The girl who faints at needles, actually birthed a child with a bloody paracetamol and some gas and air! 16 weeks later and its still so hard to believe.
At Day 5, breastfeeding becomes a bit of an issue, you got Wayne to ring the hospital because you were so upset that she just wasn’t drinking, it was as if your boob tasted like the worst shot going! She wasn’t settling, even a walk in the pram didn’t work, you tried some cool boiled water (big rookie mistake) which she projectile vomited. And out came the Aptamil we had bought as an emergency back up. The disappointment was too much, it felt like an actual punch in your still swollen stomach, Wayne was amazing and convinced you that he was really happy that he was going to be able to help feed Cora and give your poor boobs a rest but that guilt will still stay with you, when you see mums at baby groups just being able to feed their little ones without having to secretly shake a bottle with formula on the DL. This is so stupid, Cora is thriving! The health visitor is always happy with her and she’s doing very very very well at putting on weight ha!
You need to be selfish in these first few weeks and I wish this was something you realised, if you need everyone to be quiet because you want to settle your newborn then thats not a big ask! if you want your girl to be left asleep then guess what, people should respect your wishes - they’re not going to be up with her at 3am!
Having a newborn isn’t this horror everyone told you it would be, thank god for cabbage leaves, cold breast pads and that blow dry you booked in. You have literally never felt happier and although you haven’t received much confirmation from others that you’re doing well - i think you are! Cora’s the happiest, most beautiful little girl and you’re so so lucky!
you’ve got this xxx